Today I am human, okay, part human.... so today I write from that space.
Our lessons change in vibrational frequency as we do. We are revisited with the same core ones at each frequency we achieve, in order to further move out any remnants of "that" which is left. For each of us, these issues are the same, yet are unique according to that of our own soul's energy & blueprint.
For me, I have always been the giver. This has changed though in "how" I give as I too increase vibrationally and leave the physical behind. As I have elevated in frequency, I learned to maintain my own energy and not give more "too much"; notice when I was being drained and when I was enabling another. I learned to stop doing this and assist another to learn themselves, master their own energy, maintain their own energy fields, etc. My light became so bright that it was "rare" to be affected by another.
Yet along the way, there have always been lessons of lack, abundance, honor, integrity, respect and more.
I have lived for years on literally "nothing". I have let go of all "pride" to accept that which has allowed me to do "this" 24 hours a day, in-service of others. I have spent all moments sharing, teaching, helping. I have learned how unimportant physical stuff is and how it interferes with our own consciousness and energies, so I choose to live a very meager lifestyle, but ... (and yes, I rarely use but unless I need to make a point.)
I learned to give freely, without attachment. I learned to honor all, to trust that I was always supported and to give of my last everything to help another. I learned to not judge, to understand other's realities are their own. I learned to do until I had "nothing left", as my own light was bright enough to sustain, that my connection AS source was abundant and that having & existing on virtually nothing was preferable to those around me to still lived like I used to, in a mindset of lack with more material things than I had and knew that the day would come that they too would be where I now exist. As in true REMEMBERING, all things of the physical cease to matter or even, in many ways, exist.
Yet, in January I was jolted with the new energies, pushing up feelings of betrayal and anger at those who were not honorable towards me. Those who made promises to honor certain agreements, and though my soul did not care and loved them unconditionally, my physical me had gotten really disappointed in those who were supposed to vibrate at higher frequencies yet still lacked honor in their own word. I purged, physically got sick and released all, cut cords and stepped into amazingly higher frequencies. Every couple weeks I am honored to step into new frequencies with the streaming energies.
These energies of the full moon last weekend, yet again, jostled and shook loose the next layer of the same "dishonor" by others. I was surprised by the surfacing (aren't we always), yet understood it, yet again, as needing to go, finally and for good. I have seen NEW earth and know how all is to exist and these things just do not have a place there. I know that if I am to step into new frequencies, I must again, let more go, cut more cords, and embrace all with love.
The interesting part this time, is that when I went deep inside to ask "why do I keep attracting those who are not honorable?" and "where do I lack honor towards others"... I got a very clear "it is not your honor towards others, it is that you have not been honoring yourself!" The message was that I had allowed this, yet again, and while "trying to do what was in my heart", had to be "taught" that I have to say "no" and honor myself, especially when others do not.
I have followed "give give give freely" soooo much that others "took" and I had no boundaries. It seems that majority still do not honor their own soul energy enough to "pay" for services when they have tons more in the physical world than I do, still put material things first, still "take" and think it is okay, and still just plain ole lack honor. It seems that I needed to get to a point of "enough is enough" and "no, that is not okay" and this must be spoken verbally for me to be able to clear it. Apparently my own masculine energy has again returned for re-merging to birth a NEW!
So, I have hung up my "martyr wings" and grown new "wings with balls" .... no it is not okay that another not honor us just because they do not value their own soul/conscious energy as much as we do. No we cannot save them from hitting rock bottom and losing absolutely everything like we did, unless they choose differently now. And yes, we do have to cut all cords of lack/agreements that we have and keep moving forward. Not out of dishonor to them, but out of honor to our own selves. I am here to help many and if I continue to help those who just don't care, I am not helping anyone.
So, I will be saying "no thank you, that is not acceptable in my reality anymore" and if one chooses to be honorable, pay for sessions, guidance, assistance when they have the means, then awesome! I no longer need to barter with those who do not fulfill their end of equal exchange. I no longer need to work for free for one who has something they can choose to release in order to pay/give me that will benefit me in some way. I no longer need one to promise anything in return, especially when they have no intention of doing it. I am saying no, and utilizing the time that I very much need to do those things that move us all forward and help those who do truly seriously take their own journey and honor of others to heart. The "do this for me and I promise one day I will do for you" or "I can't afford that, but will you please do for me anyway" just don't hold water anymore. I can no longer afford to compromise my own soul for another who lacks integrity.
Now on the same token, there are some that truly give of their hearts to help others, do not have to give at certain times, yet DO honor arrangements of equal exchange or pay for services or both. There are some who do give testimonials and give back when they can. These, I do continue to help, without hesitation, as their honor is evident in the exchanges WITHOUT me asking. They do it on their own honor.
I have learned that I absolutely, soul to soul, love each and every soul deeply and with everything that I am. I also have learned that I can love the soul while not wishing to be a part of the physical person's reality that lacks integrity and respect for self and another. I have learned that I can say no, with love and step away. For I, no longer need to dishonor my physical self to honor my soul self "here".
<3 <3 <3