Little did I realize, at the time, that a family of birds building a nest outside my window would have such an impact on the next several years to come. Little do we actually realize at the time, how every moment is brought to us with a purpose of moving us in a direction of peace, love, kindness and utter and complete light.
I could never meditate. My mind was way too busy with thoughts that ran through my ever active head of "what about this, what about that"... thoughts of past or future that would come to no longer exist. But first, I had to LEARN to lose myself in stillness.
Every morning I would get up and take my notepad/computer to the living room, set up work for the day & open the blinds. This was after much of the heavy dark had dissipated, yet I had no direction within. Up until that time, I had withdrawn into darkness, while my own soul pain surfaced for release. I would sit and work on designing websites, creating, organizing and thinking. What was the "future" to bring. Life as I had previously known it no longer existed. The Universe had seen fit to put me out of work, throw me into a barrage of addictions and emotional turmoil, while my soul pain came up. I was experiencing chronic health problems that just kept surfacing, no matter how hard I "tried" to clear them... little did I know. :)
Loss provides for so many things. Those things we hold on to that are obstacles to finding our own inner self, the path to our own soul, are often "taken away" and new things take their place. Things like loss of a job, loss of a relationship, loss of health... whatever makes us get stationary so we can go within. I remember saying to myself "well, I can't walk, so I might as well do my Metaphysical coursework"... and low and behold there was something that "I" needed in there. It took much to ground me, as I was extremely stubborn and refused to slow down. So choice, literally, got taken away from me.
Much of the time we are even provided with the ways and means to accomplish "inner work" time. If one can realize the gift they are being given, they can choose to utilize it "quicker". Many are in situations where they have financial support, a place to stay, food to eat, yet they have "lost" what appears to be the very thing that occupied all of their time focused "outwardly". One isn't losing, but rather being given an opportunity that they would not otherwise chosen for on their own.
When there is buried treasure deep within, one must delve to the depths of the soul to retrieve them and bring them to light. This only comes from inner reflection, inner observation and inner work. And this cannot be done by another. This requires that we learn to remove judgment of self and just dive in. We will always be provided oxygen (light) to breathe, but we must swim through it to get to that which will guide us to the utmost peace and love that one has ever experienced.
Every morning for hours, I would get "distracted" from my "work" to watch the little family of birds building a nest in a beautiful potted fern hanging from the overhead of the balcony. It started with ONE bird ONE day. Then a few days later, being joined by another. The "bird show" got to be the highlight of my day. I started to look forward to going to greet my little birds and watch them create. And then one day, the nest was done, and there were little eggs in the nest. All of a sudden, how excited I was by the simplest things. I ran to grab the camera to take photos, as it was so cool! I would watch mama bird come and sit in the nest each day, while papa bird came & went throughout the day. One day I awoke to baby chirps and little heads popping up, and to my delight, I had a new phase of creation to watch while mama bird fed them with love. And finally, when I had been grounded enough to learn to sit still and observe and appreciate, one by one those little birds flew away to freedom and begin their own journey to brighten another's day.
Recently I remembered my little family of birds and realized how that experience was part of teaching me presence and expanding my own consciousness. There are many things that contributed, but this one is the most present memory of yet.
The other day, another emerging soul of light said "There is this bird outside my window that I watch"... and I just smiled. And so it begins...