I hear "Teach me how to grow" or "Teach me how to grow my gifts" or "teach me how to have the perfect relationship" (the list goes on & on). Growth is an individual experience that can't be taught. We can be given another's perceptions on how to grow and if it resonates, take that information in order to see if it works for us. If we go into the mode of "oh I know that, but that's not my problem"..... ok, then why ask? If we already know the issue, then why ask another? If we are given an answer, and it doesn't resonate, obviously we should seek another answer, but in the end, all answers actually lie within. Much of the time we choose not to access them (or listen) because we don't like the answer we get, so we seek another, and another, and another... a never ending search for an answer we had the entire time but didn't want to hear or acknowledge.
Responsibility is one of the first steps to moving past our blocks and obtaining the ability to grow. Growing spiritually, growing in a relationship, growing in everything we are presented with, even with our gifts. If we can't take responsibility, then how do we expect to grow. "Oh he/she did this, so it causes me a problem". No, we allowed him/her to cause us a problem. He/She can only present the challenge. It is up to us how we handle it. Growth is not about problems, it is how we handle the problem. Do we embrace it, see it for the learning experience that it is and learn from it? Or do we blame another, ignore the uncomfortable thing we don't want to deal with and keep repeating it like an endless loop?
We are presented with obstacles every day. We are presented with things that can cause discomfort. Do we blame the other person for our discomfort? Is it always someone else's fault? Or in reverse, do we say "oh I can't do anything right" or "it happened again"... and blame ourselves without "owning" are part in the equation? I now to embrace these uncomfortable presentations as the perfect learning experience and focus on my responsibility and use it to learn from and and grow. I no longer focus on the person, but the experience. Who doesn't matter. What they did doesn't matter. What I learned from it does.
We all have abilities, and everyone's are different. The one ability we all have though is to be responsible for our own stuff and stop blaming someone else (or ourselves) for everything that goes wrong. This alone creates a victim mentality. In blaming EVERYONE else for something, we continually remain a victim. For many, it's easier to blame and continue to be a victim than to take responsibility. Do you know how freeing it is to take responsibility and let go of the need to blame? The freedom and bliss of a blame-free, guilt-free world opens us up to be able to love ourselves and those around us just as we are.
There is a difference in loving self/others and taking stuff that others try to put on us. We can still stand our ground for self while loving others for their issues. We don't have to take their issues on as our own. We actually can help others more by NOT taking their stuff on and making them deal with their own, while maintaining our own energetic field in a positive & healthy way. We don't help others by lowering our vibration to match theirs. We help them by allowing them to grow to bring theirs up to the highest level that we can possibly operate at in a total state of love and honesty!
This should not be a competition of me vs. you. It should be a move towards me and you and all of us together. I don't subscribe to competition, as we are all one. If I refuse to help you then I am in turn refusing to help myself. If I view you as a threat, the only threat is myself. If I truly understand that I am of one conscious mind and come from a true place of truth and honest, then I am honest with you, which in turn is being honest with self. Sometimes I come across as blunt or too honest. Others choose to "skirt" issues in order to avoid answering or dealing. You have to do what works for you. I just choose to be honest. If you are in a good place of being honest with self, then you will understand this and what we exchange no longer is considered personal. Nothing is personal once we rise above the lower, physical-world consciousness. We strive to operate on a level of always doing for the highest good of all involved. Those operating at a lower level can't comprehend this and get their feelings hurt. That alone should cause one to look within and ask why....
I have learned to look beyond the layers that people present in order to cover up their "stuff". I used to see this as a HUGE curse (for me) as I couldn't deal with "fake" people or dishonest people or whatever. What I realized was once I learned to trust myself, then those who presented as "fake" with a smile (or dishonest or whatever) were just covering up their insecurities in a way that irritated the mess out of me, because I felt they were dishonest. Maybe they are. The more fake, the more insecurities and dishonesty. But in seeing deeper, seeing their heart, I can see their pain and insecurities. I don't have to subject myself to being around this all of the time, which is why I have removed myself from being involved with many of these people. Their journey is theirs. But, I no longer see their issues as a betrayal issue to me. HUGE lesson for me: Their issues are theirs, they are NOT about me!
If I am operating at the highest level possible, then I can see the pain, try to offer them tools and if they say "nope, sorry, I don't have that problem, it's everyone else"... then I can smile and love them and discreetly remove myself from their presence. For those who continually choose to live in that mode and bring themselves around me, then I do eventually have to call them on it when they continual to bring it into my energetic field, as I do not have to continually entertain or tolerate the dysfunction or toxic environment. That is my responsibility. My energetic field. I do not help them by feeding their need to remain a victim. For those who operate at a lower, vibrational level and enter my energetic field, I will be honest, offer help and then dismiss them from my energetic field if they don't want my help. Maybe they have help elsewhere or or my "help" doesn't resonate with them. That is fine. This is not personal. We are here to help each other when we can and remain true to the higher and better good for all concerned. :) P.S. I also call upon every guide I have prior to or when dealing with the exceptionally stubborn cases. This really does help!
Relationships are a huge one for many. I no longer view ending relationships as failures or bad experiences. They end because BOTH parties no longer have anything to contribute to the learning process. I no longer have the need to remain in dysfunctional relationships to create a self-sabotaging behavior for myself. I grew past this need as I grew out of self-sabotage (one issue or many issues at a time, but very quickly!). Those who need to operate in dysfunction no longer serve a purpose in my growth field. (or I hope this to be the case... lol). I guess I will find out as I continue to grow. :) Understanding that almost all of my relationships up until now served my dysfunctional issues, in growing through those issues then I grow through those relationships and the need for them in my life. Those feeding off of that dysfunction though don't tend to understand the ending of the relationship and view it in their own terms (failure, disappointment, rejection, etc.).
If every relationship ends when it has served its purpose in growth, then nothing is a failure if we learn from it. Again, if we don't, we are definitely ensured to repeat it again with someone operating at the same vibrational frequency in the future. As I maintain a higher level of integrity, self-respect and consciousness, then I am finding that my relationships are improving and taking on a whole new role. I always understand that they are a learning tool and that they could end at anytime, but no longer see their ending as a bad thing. It just means that I am meant to move on to the next learning process and if I learned from the last one, it will be a different experience and if not, I will absolutely be presented with the same experience to repeat again too!
Love to everyone on this absolutely beautiful, sunny day!