That is our ego selves. I want or I need. The higher heart/self needs or wants for nothing. It takes things as they come, knowing that when it is time... we all have to learn how to release our ego selves and this is a continual thing. It never goes away, but it does diminish control, if we are persistent with our hearts over the strength of our ego-will. For many of us, our egos have to be "broken" (i.e. bottoming out or stripped away), to take us to a place where we will allow our heart centers to emerge. We have protected them for so long, we don't know how to just step back and "allow" them to be vulnerable (that is not weak and there is a difference.)
Along my journey, I have "wanted to know" so many times. I always get "when you are ready". I have been getting this message periodically the last couple years. So, luckily, I understood. I "let go" of my need to control how anything happened and continued with flow. I followed "the signs", I learned, I "received" information, I researched (they give me "things" that I am to learn and figure out myself), I listened, and I continued to grow. I would want the next "piece of my puzzle" and I would again get "when you are ready". And I was like "o.k.", and I kept going, keeping my ego at bay, no interference from me.
I would get "you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing at this moment." And understanding that "at this moment" that was all that mattered, that was good enough for me. My ego no longer rules, so not a problem!
I have been in a learning, listening, receiving, following the "instructions I am given" mode for the last year & 1/2. It has not been easy. Complete trust can be rough! I have had to overcome my mind, which is 100% of the duality issues we have to learn from and resolve "here". I spend 24/7 in healing mode with self and others. I breathe love & healing. (Yes, physical world stuff interferes with that, but hopefully in a much different way as we grow, and how lessens to almost nil.)
I am like a walking "awakening computer". Those I work with get a massive amount of information every time they are around me, in session, whatever... their brains are blown and they have to walk away to "absorb" it all. But that is part of it all. We have these brains that are stronger than we are and we have to "think" everything through and figure it out for ourselves. Our ego even needs to control "that" part of our "growth", until "that" day when it "clicks" and we go "ahhhhh". In that moment everything changes for us all and our consciousness separates. We are no longer participators in this thing we call life. Not on the same level we were before. We have "awoken".
Our "brains" are like processors. The ego is like a virus/worm that silently moves through our being and destroys us. (Thanks Tandi for that comment!) Our physical bodies are the "case" and and the components. And the virus continues to "kill" the components (thoughts & emotions being anchored in the system). We receive information from the universe and we have to "process it". If our ego is strong enough it will override what we get and "store" it away in our cases. When the issue is detrimental (immediately or over long term), it begins to destroy our components. It also eats away at our spirit (our software programs?, as we all are like different software programs, some creative, some logical, etc.) When we experience an awakening, we start to go in and "clean" all of that stuff up. We have to re-program ourselves, run our own anti-virus program that we come to learn works for US. This takes time, as not only do we have to clean the software, but we have to repair the hardware also. For some, the damage is not as substantial. For others, we are on our "last leg" or our "blue screen of death" if you will.
We are then able to start accessing our "coded" information that we couldn't before. This is what we call re-membering. It was buried by the virus (ego) in duality. We start to receive "downloads", but reboots (sleep & naps) are required, much of the time really often, to catch us up to speed. These downloads and these codes are all there, but not accessible in the crazy/busy times or before we are "ready". It is through quieting the mind, taming the ego, and in our sleep that we start to de-code. For those who refuse to sleep, you are soooo cheating yourselves. Feel like you need a nap, middle of day... yep, that is for a purpose. Your ego says no, can't do that. I am too busy. Just the words tell the universe "you are not ready".
EVERYTHING we speak or think has energy & it transmits instantly/simultaneously without our even knowing it. It is of the utmost importance to get "straight" if we want to do anything other than what we have been doing.
WHEN our spirit takes over and our physical body becomes an "energy" to communicate with, a separate being, one that we treat with the utmost respect, it will start to return the same. Every time we say "I don't care" before we eat something or do something we know we "shouldn't", we transmit energetically that low-vibrational frequency to our body. When we choose not to change our being, our thoughts, we make a choice. "NO". And that has it's own frequency. That is a block.
Our thoughts are the most important thing we have in this process. They are what dictates everything to us energetically. They are what give us the ability to communicate telepathically and to everything simultaneously and on an energetic level. It is imperative that we bring this area into light in order for the rest to occur. Light Body Integration.
I have clients, group members, those I meet daily, who FIGHT the talking process. THEY don't feel that is important. THEY just want to get onto the energetic healing, because THEY have tried everything and nothing worked. It HAS to be something outside of just talking, but it's not. THE talking that I do is something that the Universe has provided me the tools through every exchange I have had thus far to be able to do what I do. THAT, I can't teach another. I can't teach them to "tune-in" to the memories stored in the soul or energetic field to "see what I see". Because I can "step outside of self" and go to that higher place of oneness, where I no longer exist, I can cross over into other timelines/dimensions and "see" things creating an issue, an unexplained fear, a carried-over physical ailment that has never made sense.... because I understand that all times are one, I actually don't "go anywhere" it all folds into that one space where we exist so that I can access it. Energetically, that can then be brought up for healing. But only if the person is not blocking and only if they are ready. The logical mind will interfere every time. I have to "break" a person's logic to get them to open up enough to "go there". As long as THEY decide how a session will run, it will never happen. I can only open the door for the person to "go where I go" to learn to "access" the same.... the rest is up to how much they are willing to let go of in order to "be" in a space and not exist.
Last week I got up to "new information" coming through with "what I am to do", where this all fits into the larger picture (for now, as it continues to upgrade as I do!), and how things are to unfold, and to GET BUSY! I also got that there are many others intended, as we are all to work together, but I also got that it would only happen when they were ready and not all are. The Universe decides this, our own duality decides this.
Yesterday I got "that I was ready", so I opened up to the universe and acknowledged (very important, as we all have free will), "ok, I am ready, bring it on. I will take whatever you throw at me" and in the past when I said that, I felt hesitation, fear, doubt... this time that was not there. I knew, it was time. (A friend told me one time, be careful about saying "bring it on" as the universe WILL bring it on and if you are not ready it can throw one upside down into utter chaos & more.)
Today I woke up and "heard" "You are ready"... and I knew.