I finally loved myself enough to not need them anymore. I had healed the wounds deep within my soul that had kept me prisoner to the addictions, the pain, the "thoughts" in my head. It was a gradual process of purging, resisting, grieving all egoic ties to many events, but then I realized I was "done". They were "gone".
They had served their purpose in allowing me to feel so much pain that nothing mattered for a long time. The pain so overwhelming that it owned me, completely. I didn't realize this though, at the time, but looking back I can now see it.
It was a transitional period of release, one that we don't "see" while we are in it, other than the discomfort or pain that we are suffering/experiencing while we grieve the egoic ties to the memory or event. I was never a "depressive person" but spiritually I was being torn from my entire existence to make room for higher vibrational energy to move in and for fulfilling my true purpose.
Now for me, the past is like watching an old movie, like seeing it through other eyes. I see it, but it has no "power". It just "is". Much of it that "is no longer needed" is actually "gone" from my soul memory field. I have to search really hard sometimes to "find" it if I need it for information in assisting others to heal. Those who I held in contempt for "wronging" me or their part in the traumatic experiences, I have nothing but acceptance, gratitude and love for as a whole.
Do I choose to go back around "that"? No, as it doesn't serve a purpose. To subject myself to those self-imposed distractions energetically is actually sabotaging myself so I understand sometime we have to walk away to keep moving forward on our own path. Others didn't understand when I did this, saw it as being "against" them, but it truly wasn't, it just wasn't productive to continue to participate in an energetic exchange where we were operating on two different frequencies and paths. This was very hard to do but very necessary for all involved. At some point, we value our own soul so much that we don't subject ourselves to the things we did in the past. It is counter-productive and part of the ascension process.
I have learned that it is ok to go different paths to learn & heal, it is even welcomed much of the time when we have different new experiences to learn from. Parting ways is part of it & very much necessary for us all.
So now, I help others "let go", recognize egoic restraints and work to help expedite the awakening process with them. They do the work, I share what I have learned. What they do is up to them. How much they choose to suffer is up to them. All I can do is provide a way to avoid "suffering" as we saw it in the past. What used to take us years, even majority of our physical lifetimes is now understood as a thought, a choice. And that can be released instantly by those ready to make that leap and just let go!