I see so many people with phenomenal potential who are prisoner to fear. That fear manifests in many ways depending on the person and their coping mechanisms. But for all, the outcomes are the same. Fear keeps us captive to a belief of something causing us not to be able to succeed at something, some repercussions or false condemnation.
If we look at a protective mechanism we have (i.e. remaining a victim, anger, intellect... the list is endless) we can see that we ourselves create the false belief of whatever our obstacle is. If we feel we can't succeed at something, then look at what our greatest fear is for that. Ok, I try & I fail. So what. Fail then try again. Failure is perspective and we set our own standards. If we learn something from it, did we actually fail? We only fail if we don't learn from the experience.
Once we become adults, we become able to set our own goals & standards. So why do we continue to feed into the voices that we grew up with telling us we "shouldn't do that" or "we can't do that" or "we aren't good enough". Technically, we replace those who told or showed us that with our own voices. It's no longer that person we answer to. That person only has power if we give into that thought process we were raised with. So how do we break the cycle? Many ways. One is recognizing it and consciously making an effort to delve into each instance that we use that "excuse" that we can't do something. Can't is a cop-out. Blaming "that person" is an escape from taking responsibility for our own actions. Realizing it is the first step to changing it.
What's the worse that is going to happen if you try whatever it is that you are telling yourself you can't do? Look deep into the real reason you are not doing it. Blaming someone else is not the answer. It is not "their" fault. Everytime you notice yourself saying "he/she/it/they"... immediately say the same sentence with "I" and see how it changes. "They caused me to do this". No, THEY didn't. "I allowed this to happen". Because at all times we are responsible for our own actions. Once we start to take responsibility, it actually becomes very empowering. I can do this! It is a process. Change does not happen over night, BUT change does not happen at all if we don't even try.
I promise, the fear we have created is far worse than the actual thing itself. Our fears become so large they overwhelm us and own us. Turn and face the fear. I am not aware of any time it is detrimental to our well-being. Fear itself is though. The voice that is telling you that you can't do something is your own. It might be disguised as the voice of someone who told you those same things as a child, but as an adult they no longer have control unless you allow it.
Be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Respect yourself at all times and others. Treat everyone (including yourself) with love & respect. Good things will happen when you do.