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Re-visiting Learning to Trust My Inner Guidance

3/18/2011

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I had several entries, but skipped them because they had a lot of personal information in them about other people. Basically, it was me getting the repeated messages that all of these people were my lesson to learn from. 

Again, another "message" about something being MY lesson. Wow, I sure got a lot of those! This time it was my boyfriend (at the time) and how he was another lesson for me. That I needed to deal with his negativity, as it would teach me to "rise above it" to a kind place and help him, even though he fought me on it, it was what I was to do. So I did.

I got that I was to change rooms, and "move" into the other room and take the other room and make it a spiritual room, clear energy, only my spiritual stuff. 

I got "change focus, not time for other things yet, but soon. Not yet, be patient, let things happen. Listen, write. 

I wrote the word "catapult". At the time I had no idea what it meant, now I so understand it! lol "They" have catapulted me many times. 

I was told in response to an "issue" to follow my heart and do what I feel is right. "My journey is not another's problem". 

I received information on how another "person" was doing certain things and that it was not mine to continue on. That I was to soon step away and allow him to continue on and that I was to re-focus myself on the things that were mine to be concerned with for now, that the paths would go in different directions. That I was to commit my time to other needs. 

I got that "my personal journey" was to eliminate, let go of control, while taking back my space & voice & no longer be intimidated into doing something that I was not comfortable with. This was a definite trigger for me and I had been compromising and allowing people to take advantage of me because I could not stand my ground.

It's funny to see how much my oracle cards actually helped me back then. I always chalked them up to fun things, but they actually did help me. One example was I had a problem and I was looking for answers. The card pull said "look inside/within". Wow... I had no idea how much they helped me learn to listen to my higher guidance! So very cool! 

I would take everything that I didn't know how to handle (I was in my head alot!) and ask questions and work through then daily, one by one, using my inner voice. This taught me alot! I wrote every one of them down every day & recorded them as I "worked through them". Awesome!!! I had no idea I did this. How cool it is to go back and be in my own mind way back then! :) 

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Manifesting & Finding Resources

3/17/2011

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Driving home tonight there was a plane in the air turning towards the airport. My mind's eye saw the plane burst into flames. I looked away & back 3-4 times, and saw the same thing each time. Dunno, just journaling. I have learned to write everything down. Sometimes the only way I "realize" things are to go back and read them later.

I manifested EVERYTHING today except for 2 lottery tickets. lol I went out looking for specific items for things and I specifically stated what I wanted prior to going. I found the pens I needed for the price I wanted, regardless of the fact that they are much more expensive normally. As I parked the car, I got "go to that store", even though I had never been in that store before and had no idea it was even there. I was parking for a different store. I walked in, got "go left", so I did and low & behold, the big huge pot/bowl I needed for creating my burn bowl was sitting on a shelf! Parking spots in front of businesses and the hugest was my divorce papers in certified mail! Woohoo!

I have access to so many answers, if I just ask and listen.

Got: Creativity. What did you love as a child? Find that first. okay.

I found out who John Holland and Sonia Choquette are today. I want to read books, listen to them on Hayhouse Radio, etc. Also Daniel MacKinnon on YouTube "Do we have a spiritual guide & how do you connect to your guides". I need to go look these things up. Sonia Choquette... find the book "Diary of a Psychic". Intuition means "Inner Teacher". Show on Bio Channel: Mediums: We See Dead People. Christian Pankhurst "Heart Intelligence". Resources... read, listen, research... all new stuff for me to learn! Cool :)

Message: Look inside yourself



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Continued Understandings & Trusting

3/16/2011

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I realize that letting go of "control" is so much better! Trusting in the universe, listening, ASKING, setting my intentions for the day or for a certain thing ROCKS!

I again have been manifesting, small things, but huge feats for me. I have been able to keep cars away from me when driving just by "tuning in" to a frequency and willing it, turning lights green, telling or saying that I want a certain person to win a game of pool, because they would benefit from it emotionally, only to find out (after they in fact won) that they had not played since a child because of a complex due to being picked on. And this win made him feel so great. You can't buy that!

When we got ready to leave, I heard "need to turn phones back up", but I ignored it. Who would be calling this late at night? Only to find out later that a friend had tried to call & needed support. hmmmm 

I do have to say that I have been listening so much more and better.

Since I started trusting the universe and stopped trying to control things, everything has changed for the better. The universe has provided wisdom daily, I have been able to manifest more, I no longer feel inadequate or less, as nothing is about me anymore. Everything is a lesson. There is no positive or negative. I make either. I choose positive. Always!

Reading my cards daily: Profound! Always identify and use in a positive way to heal & move forward, understand situations, get answers, awesome!!! I have found if I track the numbers of my cards daily that there is a theme to the card pulls. How cool!

I am no longer trapped by fear or anxiety.  I am no longer agoraphobic, am off huge doses of meds! I embrace every feeling, identify, ask, understand, learn, grow, move forward!

  • I spin "white energy" around me
  • I "charge" my cards, stones, everything that I come into contact with
  • I set the intentions for the day, me/others/things
  • Pay attention to the signs!
  • Psychic images, no colors, no words, without sound - everything is just a knowing
  • Throat chakra/thyroid gland "I speak". Element (Sound). Light Blue
  • Stand Your Ground: Stop cycle of walking away; deal with people/situations; I take my power back; I have a voice (child hood dream, screaming with no sound coming out). Epiphany!!!!!




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Learning So Many Lessons

3/16/2011

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It's like my 3rd eye/crown chakra lately are like a "super highway" for information just tunneling/passing through. Sometimes it's like I am a conduit for almost anything, depending on the day or moment. It changes. Regardless, I embrace it.

"Every time I learn a lesson, I am given an awesome opportunity to learn another!"

Today I had so many things make sense. Manifesting has become natural and second nature on so many levels. I still have a lot to learn, but wow! All I have to do is think or ask...

One issue with a "friend" "invading my space" or "over-stepping my boundaries" triggered my "normal" reaction to be "done" with that person and walk away. I realized those problems keep happening to me because I have not learned my lesson. I (with a capital I) need to stop, deal with it and as my cards (Oracle) keep saying "stand my ground." I need to stand up for me. No more running. Deal with the situation/person in a positive and loving way & it is then up to that person to respect my boundaries or they can decide to walk away. I can only do what is right on my end.

I also realized that I have been "controlling" membership in my group, when it is not up to me...if they comply with the requirements to join, then it is up to them whether our group is for them. Every person comes to us for a reason. It is up to them to determine if they get what they feel they need or not. If they are meant to be with us, then they will be and if not, then they will leave. I have so many things to learn!

Luckily the universe is blessing me with all of these wonderful lessons and I am learning to trust, pay attention and listen.

  • "I will provide the opportunity. If it is your time to come, we welcome you. If not now, then only you will know when it is.
  • Unite Healers

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Beautiful Day of Messages

3/15/2011

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What an awesome, beautiful, phenomenal day! Why? I don't know. Just is.

So many revelations. Now to keep up with them all.
  • Write book
  • Lion-King (personal message)... the "lion" & "king" are part of my stuff... and I have never seen the movie! :)
  • Hereafter:  movie ticket appearing for no reason, messages I got then "they happened". Japan pulled release due to occurrence there.
  • My "experience" with a certain person is MY thing to learn. Deal with it.
  • Take everything and make it positive

I am "flooding" with stuff. All I can do is one thing at a time as it comes to me. The rest will have to be done when, or if, it is time.

I definitely need to write more, but it comes when it comes, and now I can't write fast enough.

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Guides in Dreams

3/13/2011

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Normally I would still be asleep & totally out of it, but I woke up feeling great, full of energy & motivation to accomplish so much. I did "set my intentions" before I went to sleep "to remember important parts of my dreams". I woke up all through the night, but didn't remember until now to write anything down. Just one word basically "Michael". Then I remembered two names on a piece of paper "Ariel (my guide) and "Michael" Archangels.

Since I started "listening" and paying attention to everything (signs, messages, synchronicities), so so so many things are like "wow"! It is very cool.

My repetitive numbers are: 1:11, 9:33 and 66. I get these numbers all day, every day in everything. (How cool that my birthday is 1/11/66!)



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Beginning Channeling & Early Messages

3/12/2011

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For the last month or so, I have lost all comprehension of time. I never know what day it is, what time it is, how long I have been somewhere or doing something. My sleep & wake times are severely upside down to the "norm". The only thing consistent with time is when I check it, it's typically : 11, or 33 something (i.e. 5:11, 6:11. 9:11 11:33, 11:11 and 2:33 but especially 3:33 am).

The "screaming" (guides or spirit world/earth people or whoever) are super loud since yesterday sometime. Today has been "off the charts" to where it actually interferes with my functionality.
My sleep doesn't conform to anything normal (but then again, neither do I.) No matter what I do to reverse it, I keep reverting back to "up all night" and sleeping until 11am-12 noon. It literally takes me 1/2 day to all day just to get somewhere. 

My need to write lately is incessant. I have started automatic writing it seems. Thoughts and images "flow", sometimes uncontrollably and if I don't write down whatever "passes through", I can't remember it. Once it flows, it is gone, as I don't actually "think", I just write what comes through and they are not thoughts, so there is no way to retain them other than writing in my scribble that is barely (if at all) legible. The only thing I can describe them as are "messages" that I am supposed to write or pass along.

I am in the process of letting go of everything worldly. No, it is not a suicidal type of letting go! It is actually a great thing. I've gotten, until I can let go of everything in this world material and emotional, I can't continue to grow spiritually, completely.

I have begun this process of cleansing and purifying; appreciating all things "nature", letting go of all emotional issues that used to affect me (triggers), blame, etc.

Things/people that used to be important, just don't matter anymore. I have realized that I "go through" people. I serve my purpose, or they do, and we move on. This explains why non of my friendships/relationships have been long-term, per se'.

My "role" in this life has changed. All I want to do is help others. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually... yet I am still growing and learning. Then again, aren't we always? 

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    2011 Journals

    I am working to move my previous manual journals to here, so that those who may benefit or identify, can read. Take a journey into my mind and with my soul! 

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