For the last month or so, I have lost all comprehension of time. I never know what day it is, what time it is, how long I have been somewhere or doing something. My sleep & wake times are severely upside down to the "norm". The only thing consistent with time is when I check it, it's typically : 11, or 33 something (i.e. 5:11, 6:11. 9:11 11:33, 11:11 and 2:33 but especially 3:33 am).
The "screaming" (guides or spirit world/earth people or whoever) are super loud since yesterday sometime. Today has been "off the charts" to where it actually interferes with my functionality.
My sleep doesn't conform to anything normal (but then again, neither do I.) No matter what I do to reverse it, I keep reverting back to "up all night" and sleeping until 11am-12 noon. It literally takes me 1/2 day to all day just to get somewhere.
My need to write lately is incessant. I have started automatic writing it seems. Thoughts and images "flow", sometimes uncontrollably and if I don't write down whatever "passes through", I can't remember it. Once it flows, it is gone, as I don't actually "think", I just write what comes through and they are not thoughts, so there is no way to retain them other than writing in my scribble that is barely (if at all) legible. The only thing I can describe them as are "messages" that I am supposed to write or pass along.
I am in the process of letting go of everything worldly. No, it is not a suicidal type of letting go! It is actually a great thing. I've gotten, until I can let go of everything in this world material and emotional, I can't continue to grow spiritually, completely.
I have begun this process of cleansing and purifying; appreciating all things "nature", letting go of all emotional issues that used to affect me (triggers), blame, etc.
Things/people that used to be important, just don't matter anymore. I have realized that I "go through" people. I serve my purpose, or they do, and we move on. This explains why non of my friendships/relationships have been long-term, per se'.
My "role" in this life has changed. All I want to do is help others. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually... yet I am still growing and learning. Then again, aren't we always?
The "screaming" (guides or spirit world/earth people or whoever) are super loud since yesterday sometime. Today has been "off the charts" to where it actually interferes with my functionality.
My sleep doesn't conform to anything normal (but then again, neither do I.) No matter what I do to reverse it, I keep reverting back to "up all night" and sleeping until 11am-12 noon. It literally takes me 1/2 day to all day just to get somewhere.
My need to write lately is incessant. I have started automatic writing it seems. Thoughts and images "flow", sometimes uncontrollably and if I don't write down whatever "passes through", I can't remember it. Once it flows, it is gone, as I don't actually "think", I just write what comes through and they are not thoughts, so there is no way to retain them other than writing in my scribble that is barely (if at all) legible. The only thing I can describe them as are "messages" that I am supposed to write or pass along.
I am in the process of letting go of everything worldly. No, it is not a suicidal type of letting go! It is actually a great thing. I've gotten, until I can let go of everything in this world material and emotional, I can't continue to grow spiritually, completely.
I have begun this process of cleansing and purifying; appreciating all things "nature", letting go of all emotional issues that used to affect me (triggers), blame, etc.
Things/people that used to be important, just don't matter anymore. I have realized that I "go through" people. I serve my purpose, or they do, and we move on. This explains why non of my friendships/relationships have been long-term, per se'.
My "role" in this life has changed. All I want to do is help others. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually... yet I am still growing and learning. Then again, aren't we always?
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