All INCLUDES self, but it is more than that.
Looking at the situation, person, thing, problem, conflict (whatever) takes removing one's self from the situation and looking at it from a higher perspective. What is my role in this? What is their role in this? Look at the bigger picture. What am I to learn? What is the other person supposed to learn from me? What is my purpose in this entire thing? What is theirs?
Most of the time, the higher purpose has absolutely nothing to do with physical needs. What we are to gain is a lesson & a lesson is not a material thing. So although we may focus on money, marriage, cars, bills, (whatever), the purpose has nothing to do with those things. Sometimes we actually have to remove ourselves from a situation before it can move forward, grow, prosper, flourish. Just by our being there, we and/or the other(s) are stuck, stagnant, holding on, the obstacle if you will.
So how do we remove the obstacle? We do what is the very hardest thing is ever. We do what we fear the most. We listen to what we know is the purpose & we follow that without fail. As if we truly have complete & utter trust in higher consciousness, higher self then the outcome will be exactly as it is supposed to be.
We do no harm to self or others. We do everything with love, acceptance, understanding, without judgement, blame or fear. For it took this entire situation or thing to get our attention, to teach us what we have come to understand exactly what is for the best & highest good for all. So in itself isn't that a lesson we learned?